I anticipate this to be a slightly lengthy. I mean, it’s been 5 years since I’ve touched this thing. So much has happened between then and now. This, brain vomit, won’t serve as a complete time lapse / recap; I’m using this space to digitally vomit my thoughts that have been swirling around today to free up some space. 🙂
My nomadic best friend of 15 years (and counting) is here visiting. I never really know where she is in the world. So, when she’s here, I eat it up. My home usually serves as her home base when she’s in town and I’m more than happy to have her quirks and energy here.
YouTube was passively playing on my TV this morning and an old vdo popped up of a Korean son and mother dancing to Gangnam Style (bear with me.) The vdo, at face value, was/is entertaining. As I was watching it, I started to think about how this (I assume) immigrant mother was popping with her son. How she probably came here from her homeland for a better life for her family and all the sacrifices and things she did to have a successful and meaningful life for her family. I also started to think about the culture differences between her break-dancing son and herself and how she lovingly participated with her son in one of his passions. My thought process ended with how unconditional love is. (VDo embedded at the bottom.)
I guess the entire gist is this: I’m reminded of my way of thinking & perception. I rarely see things at the surface. If the opportunity presents itself, I always seem to go beyond and see all the underlined & undefined. Like anything, it could be a blessing and curse and that’s likely dependent on the combination of how it’s managed and perception.
Lastly, today feels like I’m firing on all cylinders…in the good way. But it also feels a bit overwhelming…which is why I need to digitally word vomit. I’ve been skating and gliding through the past few years and kind of…just going. At one point in time, “going with the flow” seemed great…and it can still be. But I realized, because of that, I wasn’t being an intentional human being…which got me into various situations that didn’t serve me (honestly, harmed me more than anything.)
At this point in life, partly because I’m ready to turn the corner and also have felt pretty beat up, I’m trying to balance the carefree “go with the flow” and also be very intentional with my decisions and actions. I think it’s important to have a balance of both. The latter is what needs work. I welcome the reintroduction of being particular and intentional. It’s become foreign to me but I’m really ready to have my next phase in life be one of deep intention. I feel like I’m finding my way back to myself.
holy shit. kinda scary. BRING IT.
Side note: I’ve been insanely hungry for creative release. For me, that’s always a very very good sign. Traditionally, when I feel inspired and starving to create – I know that the important pieces in my life are falling into place. #StayHungry