i spent my morning watching and listening to a lecture by Dr. Daniel G. Amen. it was a facinating inside look on brain chemistry when in love, how to sustain long-lasting love (opposed to a matchbook-romance) and also how diet affects hormones (not only sexual hormones) and in turn, affecting relationships both in a postitive and negative ways. (wow run-on sentence). he also wrote a book on ADD / ADHD and different approaches on managing them called “magnificant mind at any age” (thanks for the recommendation, j)!
the entire lecture was about an hour long where he dove into brain activities, hemispheres, brain chemicals & chemistries…and far too many things to cover in one blog. however, the last few points of the lecture drove me to take notes (yes, i really did).
1. a healthier brain equals a sexier you.
a. healthy diet
b. fish oil
2. its all about blood flow
a. 25% of blood flow goes to your brain.
b. get enough sleep (oversleeping also causes dullness and fog)
3. know your partner’s brain
a. different brains need different strategies
b. people with an overactive frontal lobe are the same people that love motorcycles, scary movies etc.
c. people with under-active frontal lobe like predictability.
4. boost the chemicals of love.
a. oxytocin = the cuddle hormone (enhanced by holding hands, cuddling, watching movies etc).
b. Phenylalanine aka: PEA (almonds, cheese, chocolate)
5. focus on what you love.
a. make a list of 7 things you love about your partner. meditate about one each day. <– i think this is a great idea…
b. embed yourself in your partner’s brain.
c. always be on the look out to take your partner’s breath away.
6. kill the ANTs that infest your relationships
(ANT = automatic negative thoughts)
a. write out the ANTS
b. ask yourself if they are actually true. ie: “he/she NEVER listens to me”.
7. there are many reasons why people behave badly…simple answers are never sufficient.
i know my blog is not doing justice to the lecture, but it was a really facinating lecture.
i’m probably going to go out and get a couple of his books. wonder if he has any other televised lectures?
in searching for the video lecture by dr. amen, i found this TEDTalks video on the same subject (lecture by dr. helen fisher). she and her team took MRI’s of people that are madly in love & of those who were just dumped.