i really wish someone would invent a ‘mental recorder’. my short term memory sucks and i go into these types of theological, philosophical & analyzing thoughts at the most inappropriate and oddest times. i mean, i can’t exactly jot down my thoughts while i’m showering, pooping or driving. and so while waiting until i can get my hands on pen & paper or my laptop or phone, i lose the thought. worse, i lose the momentum. am i that “momentary”?
anyhow, so keeping with the ADD tornado-like mind of mine…
there are a lot of things going on around me (that don’t have anything to do directly with me). when i’m aware of things that are happening around me, it always seems to cause me to take a step back and re-evaluate my own life..not in a bad way because for the most part, i either appreciate more of what i have or am conscious of things that i can do better. it kind of throws me in a whirlwind of thoughts but its welcoming. its just a matter of compartmentalizing the thoughts. this process is all a part of my native threory of self-evolving.
i had the pleasure of hanging out with a few old friends that i haven’t been able to spend time with in over a year. it was really great to see all of them and to catch up. i was talking to my friend’s wife (one of the sweetes & funniest people i know), and she was asking about how i was doing with everything. she was especially interested in my love life. after spouting off for about 20 minutes about my relationship and my partner, i could see it in her eyes, she was happy for me as well. later on, in talking with her husband, he made a statement that caused me, to in fact, take a step back and be grateful for what i do have. after years of being married and going through some hills and bumps in his own marriage, he comes out with “i did good didn’t i?” you could see the love for his wife in his eyes.
i remember my…
friend and his wife going through some very uncertain times and i was so happy to see they came out of it even more in love than when they started. there was a new founded RE-appreciation for each other. in his own words he explained, “every relationship goes through high hills and great dips. once you get over the first dip, everything else is easy. you just have to work together. you’re a team.”
i think many times, people forget that the reality of the relationship comes with the difficult times. it never stays at a plateaued height of “happy”. it is the variable of communication, openess to listen and willingness to compromise that sustains.
this made me take a step back and re-evaluate my personal relationship. the only thing i can say is thank you a million times over. i can be myself. its safe to be insecure. there is someone on my side willing to communicate with me. whether we agree or not, my feelings & thoughts are always valid and are always ok & safe to talk about.
. lesson numero dos
i was talking to my roommate last night and it made me think back on how i used to approach things. many times, (mostly in the past), i let siutations define people. in the past, if something didn’t go my way (ie: if my significant other was late for a date); automatically they don’t care about me or my time. lame & kind of extereme, right? i used to be so hard up on how i wanted things that i wouldn’t let the other person be themselves and/or figure themselves out. now that i’ve gone through a growth process, i’m finding that these things are actually beautiful. i say ‘beautiful’ because, with each situation that arises, comes the opportunity to grow as an individual. (i know, so much easier said than done, right)?
i am eating a crap-ton of cabbage.
2 words: fart machine.