I’ve pretty much have just been staring off into space today. just shutting everything off for a short bit because…well, all that i’ve been feeling today is frustration & exhaustion. i’m dying for some relief. i sound like such a baby at the moment, because the reality is: life isn’t that difficult right now. i’ve only been spent for the past weekend and today. its not like years and years of bs.
my preferred source of comfort isn’t available and the fact that she isn’t available is making me feel worse. i hate that i have that expectation and dependency (right now). that’s the most frustrating part. i never want someone to feel obligated, but damn it – i just want to hear her voice right now. oh well, good time to learn self-pacifying and coping skills.
its selfish, really, because life doesn’t revolve around me & i know that. she’s with her family for fuck’s sake, teadough. seriously, get a hold of yourself! i think its just because i’m at a pinnacle of frustration and she’s the most calming thing i know.
i think i’m tired of hearing myself whine.
here, listen to this.