Simmuh Down Nah!

it feels like the dust is finally starting to settle & i’m getting this odd feeling…as if my head is finally peeking out of the dust clouds and “oh yeah, there’s me.” you know, it feels like what a fighter might feel like after fighting a 12 round bout. he might’ve won, but he’s tired. i’m almost too tired to think but i’m trying to get it all out to flush it out.

now that everyone is ok, i can sit down, look in the mirror & self-check. now that there’s time to feel & recover, i just want to lay in bed and sleep for days. my tired body & mind are searching for rest. i just have to be very careful in not confusing “resting” for “shutting off”. maybe i’m a lil’ depressed…i dunno…

i’ve had a long week…

it felt really good to listen to my enormous sarah mclachlan discography collection on my drive home. i was able to cry myself home. wow, how self-loathing does that sound? really, i’m not a cryer and i wasn’t exactly sad, per se. it was more of a relieving release. it was needed. sarah’s music is so settling.

i couldn’t help but repeat the track over and over…

really, i hate this self-loathing nonsense.

so, onto better revelations…
i’ve always been a firm believer of “you really don’t know someone until you ‘fight’ with them.” its a really big test and learning process for any type of relationship. it’s easy to love someone & be kind when things are peachy. but it’s a real show of character on how you love someone when things are not storybook.

over the weekend, i fell in love with her even more. i believe we’re a true testament of “growing together”.
so this is what it’s supposed to be like…


off-subject: i hate when people use the term “da” for “the”.

maybe i’m just being closed minded because i just can’t seem to justify why that would be necessary. or maybe i’m just getting old and not into slang-talk…


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