i was self analyzing while driving to whole foods this afternoon. i wondered if i truly knew myself. to be honest, i’m not entirely sure i do. so i decided to make a list of things i do know so i can have a visual road map.
my laundry list:
- i wear a lot of black, not purposefully. i’d really like to have more color in my closet, but i’m never really satisfied with how colors look on me, (with the exception of brown, but brown is the color of shit so that doesn’t really count).
- when i talk to bri, i talk a lot. i don’t really mean to, i just do. i think it’s partly because we’re both busy during the day so when i do hear her voice, i get a serious dose of excitement (still) & just go off like machine gun. that, and i genuinely still get nervous, sometimes.
- sometimes, i find myself talking about me too much. this seems to happen only w/bri. i’m really not sure why, but that’s what it feels like. sorry, boo.
- i’m not very good at putting away my laundry. matter of fact, it’s one of the things i loathe doing. such a simple task that i hate.
- i don’t like loads of wet food. ie: doing the dishes when there is a shit-ton of food caked on. gross.
- i only wear black socks.
- i over explain things.
- i like when certain songs and/or albums define a moment and/or person. its the best kind of time machine.
- i get easily swept off my feet w/gentle words tethered together by conviction and simple unexpected gestures.
- i love crazy manic love.
- i have a biasness for old black & white photography and photos of social commentary.
- i wonder about a lot of things that i never breathe a word about. (nothing creepy).
- when it feels wrong, i never forget.
- i’m not good at it, but i believe in balance.
- i have an unhealthy affinity for the Kogi BBQ truck.
- i, easily, forget about my feelings when i see someone i care about unhappy. (sappy cheesy but w/e. t’is true). however, that’s not always a good thing.
- i like answering random & anonymous questions via http://www.formspring.me/TeaDough (as me something)!
- i’m allergic to clear deodorant.
- i honestly feel a mass of kindness and compassion can cure the world.
- i used to have a lot of trouble verbalizing my feelings in romantic relationships. that has gradually changed after my father’s death.
- speaking of, i truly know anything and anyone can be taken away at any moment. our time is not guaranteed. this is why i don’t mind telling someone i love them 800x’s a day…and i’ll mean it each time i say it.
- i sometimes wonder what i’d turn out to be like if my dad was around for my teenage & adult years.
- i’m good at diverting attention when i don’t want to show i hurt.
- i’ve always wanted to sing something beautiful to someone with my eyes shut & getting lost in that moment. at the same time, this frightens me.
- i love gadgets.
- i love voices.
- i fall in love with faces & moments.
this is getting way too long.
i’m gonna have to try again later or tackle this with other tactics.