i just got back from a 5 day hiatus from socal and spent it up in northern CA for my better half’s birthday. the more time i spend up there, the harder it is to leave. needless to say, my partner lives up there (which is hard enough to leave), but truly – the feeling i get of being able to exhale makes it all the more difficult to hop on that plane for the hour ride back “home” to socal. i love where i live. i do. however, to a larger scale, i don’t feel i can stretch and discover more of me, my own life, what i love and…there is just more for me up north.
i spent part of my stay there roaming around town on my own (and thankfully did not get lost taking the Muni on my own). i caught up with a really good friend and miss her already. i love spending time with her. she’s one of the very few that, not only understands my complex-emotional-mind, but doesn’t judge me on it.
anyhow, it felt so good to remove myself from the monotonous stress. it’s tough being back today. i already feel like i’m suffocating. i spend almost 8 hours of my day burying my head in between a set of headphones just to block everything out…and by “everything” i mean bullshit. while i’m sitting here typing away, i’m missing walks up there. you can’t do that here. if you don’t have a shiny car and would rather explore on foot, you get weird looks. to be honest, there’s not much to explore (on foot) in good ole orange county anyway.
i talk as if i absolutely loathe where i live, in which i don’t. i just feel better up north, that’s all. the people and energy are more suited for me.
i don’t know…i just don’t feel quite “awake’ anymore down here and i’m tired of being a drone. that’s the whole dilemma, i think. i always complain about “being bored with life” and maybe that’s the case because i know OC so well. i’ve done everything and have experienced and discovered all of my interests here. maybe it is just a matter of plucking myself out of this OC socket and re-plugging into SF.
moving on…(figuratively & literally)…
boo & i sneaked away to sonoma for a weekend of wine & olive oil tastings. i think we both learned a lot, especially how to refine our pallets. we both experienced all the wonderful flavors of the slew of different wines and fusion of olive oils.
after a 2 night / 3 day stay in sonoma, we headed back to a surprise bday dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant where all of her friends awaited her arrival. she was surprised. i loved it. the food was a lot better than i anticipated! when we were finished, we headed a few doors over to a very entertaining burlesque show. wow, that was an experience for sure.
whoa. i just felt like my mind shut off.
what is it with this mind-numb?!